They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
