Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
