Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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