what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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