I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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