I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
