Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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