How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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