What a fucking waste of an outfit
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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