That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
