So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We have started to decorate penises.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
