they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
