Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
