By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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