i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
