I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
