I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
