It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
