I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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