College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
