My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
