Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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