she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
