Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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