Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Can Purell be used as lube?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
