you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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