who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
