So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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