Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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