I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize