so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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