Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
