I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
