my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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