Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
