Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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