Do you still have your period?
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
