Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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