I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
