why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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