I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
