I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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