what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
