He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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