My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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