Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
