nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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