Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize