I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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