There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
