I bet he comes in French.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
