He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
