he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
