tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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