At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Quick, to the slutcave!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
