I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
