love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
worst night to have a conscience
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
