So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
