Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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