cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
