walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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