Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
