I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
