literally had 100 drinks last night.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
