Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
