Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
