so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
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