Sry I called you an 8
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
