that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
