i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize
