It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
