talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
