can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
