in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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