so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
