Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
