Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Couch. On fire.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
