Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
