The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
