His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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