As long as you're not dating white guys again.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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