Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
