so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
