We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
how drunk are you?
Several
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize