You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
