the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
