she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
